Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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