With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Randomize
