Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
