you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
