My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
