Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
no you cant smoke seaweed
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
