Rock
Scissors
Fuck
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
