At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
