I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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