if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
