So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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