I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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