I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
