One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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