i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
