I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
