And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
