I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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