so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
