I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
