She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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