just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
