So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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