Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
