WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
