Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize