just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Randomize
