There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
