Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
