Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
