You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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