Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
