Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
