Those balls look pretty dangerous.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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