Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
