I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
