OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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