That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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