Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
