he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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