So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
