Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
