Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
pop tarts are not kleenex
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
