How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
