Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
