Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
birth control should be required to get into college
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
