So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm like, not good at living.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
