I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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