Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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