It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
i think my cat just said my name.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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