last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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