All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
