she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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