I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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