New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
