About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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