I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
