Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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