no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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